Aggro

When I say that I'm jobless, I'm not entirely telling the truth.  I work two-part time jobs.  One is as a CAD technician/ drafting monkey for a residential builder.  The other is at my parents store.  The following list consists of professions that Indian people generally choose to follow: motel/hotel owner, doctor, convenience store owner, etc.  So what did my parents decide to do?  Open up a surf and skate store, of course.

 

 

 

 

 

Now...our store, Aggro, is in a mall.  As you may know from the movie Mallrats, malls sometimes attract some pretty weird characters.  Below are three examples of such people:

Weird person #1 told me all about his summer job.  He works at a watermelon farm.  For 10-15 minutes he continued to tell me all about watermelon harvesting.  How about 10 men ride out into the middle of a watermelon field in a school bus that they had cut the top off of.  And how they would all scram to collect the melons, throw them in the bus until it was packed, drive somewhere to unload, then drive back.  The process is repeated until the whole field is worked from the inside out.  If anything, it was pretty educational.

Weird person #2 was a 50-something year old singer.  My mom was with a sales rep when the singer came into the store.  She then told my mom and rep that she was a singer and then burst out with an opera-like "wooooooooo-AHHHHHH".  My mom said she could've sworn she saw the walls shaking.  That was just the beginning.  The lady asked my mom and the rep to try singing.  Apparently, she was on a roll. "Anyone can do it!! You just have to pull the air from within.  You have to eNUNciate your vowel. AH-EH-EEEEE-OOOO-UUUU. You don't say LOVE...you say LLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOVVVVE. It's so easy. Try it.  Sometimes men follow me in grocery stores wondering what the angelic voice is. It's me. OOOOAHHHHHH!!!! It's really wonderful when I want to try to find my mother. She can find me anywhere in the mall....WOO-AHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Wow.  My mom did a pretty good impersonation.

While some weird people want to teach us things, others want to learn from us.  Weird person #3 was about my age.  He came in and stood right in front of me.  He stared right at me and said "Tell me the truth. Do you think I have style?"  What do I say? "Sure...I mean a t-shirt and jeans are pretty normal for guys, right?"  All he says is "Alright." then walks out of the store. What?!